Funfetti Slice & Bake Cookies

We have just 1 day left in 2015, so why not say goodbye with a bang? A festive cookie full of rainbows, unicorns, and sprinkles. Paired with champagne because why would you ring in 2016 WITHOUT unicorn cookies and champagne?!?! Who are you. 😕

Not sure if you remember me obsessing about my new recipe for slice ‘n’ bake cookies the other week. Surely you do because I declared my love on all social medias for nearly a week straight. They’re so easy, they’re so flavorful, prep them ahead of time, omg the chocolate! You get the picture.

you guys I’m sorry. I’ve been holding out on you. I told you how surgery went fine and I’m now in hand therapy, but I failed to tell you the most quotable thing I said post-op while the anesthesia wore off.

me: “I’m going to jump on the train now”
jesse: “where is the train going?”
me: “pizza land”

and of course we stopped for pizza on the way home. It worked out nicely that my surgery was on a Tuesday, because in our house we do Pizza Tuesdays…which explains why I had pizza on my mind…and having a take out dinner plan after a busy day was a good option for us. And by us I mean Jesse, because there was no way I was cooking dinner that evening.

anyways. we’re a little over two weeks post-op and while my arm still feels like poopy ka-ka, my brain is like GET ME OUTTA HERE! To pass the time, here are a few things I’ve been reading: little fires everywhere, girls burn brighter and endless insurance claims. That last one is a page turner. I also took up professional Wii fit hoola hooping (it’s the only game that doesn’t seem to involve arms, jostling or jumping), I’m up to 264 hoolas on the beginner mode. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

Alright, so. Funfetti slice ‘n’ bake cookies for the new year! Let’s do this. First, I gotta tell ya that my slice ‘n’ bake cookies are unlike others. I typically find cookies like this to be bland and very blah. I don’t waste my time or my calories (!!!) on blah cookies, so you’re in the clear. No boring slice ‘n’ bakes here.

These slice ‘n’ bake cookies couldn’t be easier. The trick to perfecting them is getting the ratio of ingredients right. My slice ‘n’ bakes combine only 4 base ingredients: flour, sugar, egg and butter. No baking soda or baking powder business; we want a dense cookie with zero lift. 2 cups of all-purpose flour will help create a firm, yet slightly tender cookie. Soaking up all this flour is creamed butter/sugar and just 1 egg. I opt for brown sugar instead of white sugar. Why? Well, there’s flavor and moisture there! And that’s so important in slice ‘n’ bake cookies, which (as I mention above) are typically dry and bland. I add a little vanilla extract for flavor, as well as a touch of almond extract. I swear by almond extract in my sugar cookies and I really think you’ll like it too. Just gives the cookies that little something extra. And pairs perfectly with all the vanilla and butter flavors already packed inside. And I haven’t even gotten to that silky white chocolate dunk yet!

Ingredients

  • 1 cup unsalted butter softened 226g
  • 1/2 cup sugar 100g
  • 1/4 cup light brown sugar tightly packed (50g)
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon almond extract optional
  • 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 295g
  • 2 1/2 Tablespoons colorful Nonpareils optional

Instructions

  1. Combine butter and sugars in a large bowl (or in the bowl of a stand mixer) and use an electric mixer to beat until creamy.
  2. Add egg yolk and stir well.
  3. Add salt, vanilla extract, and almond extract (if using). Beat until well-combined.
  4. With mixer on low-speed, gradually add flour until completely combined. Dough may be crumbly, if needed use a spatula to scrape the bottom and sides of the bowl and work the flour into the dough.
  5. Add nonpareils (if using) and fold into dough (try not to over-work it at this point as nonpareils may bleed).
  6. Divide dough into 2 parts and transfer each part onto a sheet of wax paper. Work dough into a 2″ wide log shape (I like to use the wax paper to help do this, see video for reference) and transfer to the refrigerator to chill for at least 2-3 hours.*
  7. Once dough has chilled, preheat oven to 350ºF (175ºC) and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
  8. Remove one cookie dough log from the refrigerator and use a sharp knife to cut into 1/4″ slices.
  9. Place slices on prepared cookie sheet about 1″ apart and bake on 350ºF (175ºC) for 10-12 minutes or until edges are just beginning to turn golden brown.
  10. Allow to cool on baking sheet before serving. If desired, dip cooled cookies in chocolate and top with additional sprinkles.